Are You A Control Freak?

In his latest book “Drive” author Daniel Pink talks about the importance of giving autonomy to people to improve their engagement and performance. This concept scares many leaders in business; particularly those who have difficulty in letting go and want to control everything that crosses their path. We call these people “Control freaks”. 

They are the ones who want to have their way when they interact with others. They make all the decisions and run the show. If things do not go the way they want, anxiety creeps in and they become unhappy and grumpy.

Not being in control and not knowing what is going to happen to us activates our threat circuit in the brain. A small almond shape organ on both sides of the brain called amygdala –is part of this circuit- becomes very active and we then start experiencing all sorts of fears (I will not make it on time, we will not meet deadlines, or I need to check this presentation again…etc.).

If we are unaware that this is happening, we become even more anxious and controlling, upsetting everyone around us. Making choices for everyone else can create enormous amounts of stress which leads to poor decisions, lack of productivity and disengagement.

Even though it is natural for the brain to seek certainty, and a certain dose of fear can be useful to keep us alive, operating at higher levels of anxiety constantly affects our health and performance.

Everyone is different, so one of the best ways to know if you fall into the “control freak” category is to seek feedback from those who work with you. If you have built good levels of trust with your team members they will be pleasantly surprised if you ask them about “your” controlling tendencies.

Once you are aware of these tendencies, you can implement strategies to diminish the emotions and beliefs that lead to the need for excessive control.